


secret of christmas

by deer_lovely_lily



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Christmas, M/M, Post-The Raven King, Pre-Epilogue, embarrassingly cheesy tbh !! merry christmas lmao, there are a few tropes thrown in because it’s Christmas and I can’t help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deer_lovely_lily/pseuds/deer_lovely_lily
Summary: “I thought about what you were saying the other day. About how you never thought that the Christmas you always saw on TV was real. And it’s not really — I mean, nobody’s that fucking happy — but it can be pretty damn close.“
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 22
Kudos: 176





	secret of christmas

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my lovely mutuals and, of course, my absolute loves in the crying club — ambra, mara, caitlin, julia, vila, hannah, alex, eva, anna, fran, yas, em, cami & kelly. happy holidays & this is my gift to you 💗 I love you all SO much and I’m so grateful for each of you; my life truly got a thousand times more wonderful the minute y’all stepped into it ♥️  
> I hope that, like Adam’s first Christmas with Ronan, this will brighten up your winter a little 💘🌟🎄

Winter had always been a bleak season for Adam. Of course, it was a pretty bleak season generally speaking; the days were shorter, the nights longer. Everything was cold and brittle, the sun hidden behind clouds of rolling grey. For most people though, the bright candle flickering amongst all this dark was the promise of the holidays. Adam supposed people needed something to build their spirits when the winter winds were so desperately trying to knock them down. 

Christmas in the Parrish household had never been a precious thing. Adam’s fractured memories allowed him glimpses of Christmases past that all blurred into one vague and unpleasant picture. He wasn’t sentimental over it; there was nothing to be sentimental over. Some people grew up and began to miss the childhood christmases they used to love; Adam grew up mourning the ones he’d never gotten. This year was the first Christmas he would be spending away from the trailer, away from his mother and father, away from his old life. This year he would be spending Christmas with a family of his own; not the one he was born into, but the one he had found himself. Although he’d certainly _had_ Christmases before, it felt like this year would be his first; like he was finally going to experience that make-believe Christmas he used to catch glimpses of on the old TV set during the holiday season. Growing up, Adam had always thought these movies couldn’t possibly be what Christmas was really like. They always told the same story; the spirit of Christmas bringing people together; love and goodness emerging despite everything that may have been pushing it down. Adam knew this wasn’t the reality. He remembered being angry about it as a child — so many films feeding him lies and false hope — but he wasn’t so much now. A little sad, maybe. But he was ready to experience a Christmas that _was_ filled with love and goodness, and it felt like a lifetime had passed since he’d been in that double-wide longing after those movies with a heavy heart. Ronan had invited him to spend Christmas at the Barns with him and his brothers a few days before. They had been tangled together in Adam’s bed at St. Agnes when Ronan had asked him. 

  
“Are you spending Christmas with us?” 

The small bed wasn’t built for two people; it didn’t allow much room for repositioning and as a result the two of them had to cling to one another in the dark. The trick was to make themselves as close to one person as possible, which neither particularly minded. It was a good excuse to press their bodies close together. Adam looked up at Ronan; though his face was shadowed and difficult to make out in the midnight moon, there was nonetheless a very genuine expression looking back at him in the dark.

“Am I invited?”

“I’m inviting you now,” Ronan replied, wrapping his arms around Adam a little tighter. “I thought about what you were saying the other day. About how you never thought that the Christmas you always saw on TV was real. And it’s not really — I mean, nobody’s that fucking happy — but it can be pretty damn close.” 

Adam looked at him; if his heart had been glowing through his chest in that moment he wouldn’t have been at all surprised.

“You don’t have to,” Ronan added, finding Adam’s hand and weaving their fingers together idly. “I wanted to ask anyway.”

Adam placed a hand on Ronan’s cheek and then placed a kiss on his lips; he hoped that kiss would convey to Ronan just how much this meant to him. He pulled back, and in the dark he could see his own smile reflected in Ronan’s.

“I would love to.”

* * *

A week later, Ronan had been pulling his best efforts to show Adam the Christmas traditions that he and his brothers had always had back when their family had still been whole. On the first Sunday of December, he had picked Adam up from work and driven them both to the Barns, but instead of heading towards the house when they climbed out of the car, he had opened the boot of the BMW, pulled out an axe, and lead Adam by the hand towards the woods that encircled the grounds. 

“Are we about to commit a murder?” Adam asked, with an eyebrow raised. Ronan looked like a cartoon character with that axe hoisted over his shoulder. He gave Adam a sharp grin in reply. This cleared up absolutely none of Adam’s confusion, so he continued. “Because a heads up would be great if that’s where the evening’s headed.” Ronan snorted, pulling Adam closer to him by their joined hands. 

“Noted. If I ever need your help committing murder I’ll make sure to let you know a week in advance.” Adam raised an eyebrow and he finally clarified; “We’re getting the Christmas tree.”

“From _these_ woods?” Adam asked, skeptically glancing at the very barren summer trees currently surrounding them. 

“Yep. This way.”

Ronan lead them a little further into the grove of trees until they came to a clearing where a single fir tree stood in the centre. It seemed to be growing out of the hollowed out stump of another fir tree, which was set in the centre of another, and another, and another; so on and so on. A matryoshka of tree stumps.

Adam looked to Ronan, “Dreamt?” 

Ronan nodded. 

“We chopped this same tree down every year and it would always grow back from the stump by the time the next Christmas came around.” He paused for a moment before adding, “We never really questioned how it grew so fast as kids.”

“You all lived in a dream,” Adam said quietly, crouching down beside it to trace his fingers over the layers of the previous tree stumps. They were all splintered and stretched out after decades worth of new trees endlessly sprouting from their centre. “When was the last time you cut it down?” 

Ronan crouched beside him and placed his palm flat on the trunk of the tree. 

“The year before dad died.” 

Adam looked at him; he could feel his brows furrowing. 

“Did he dream it?” 

Ronan nodded. 

Carefully, Adam went on; “Ronan, I don’t think this tree is going to grow back again if you cut it down.” 

Ronan sniffed and nodded again, then looked back at Adam.

“This will be the first Christmas any of us have spent here since he died. It just — it feels right to have a part of him there for Christmas this year. If I leave it, it’ll just stay here, never growing. It’ll start to rot after too long.” He looked back at the tree, his expression complicated. “He would've hated that.” 

Adam took his hand, weaving their fingers together in the cold and rubbing his thumb over Ronan’s comfortingly. Ronan gently squeezed his hand in silent thanks.

“I’m going to dream a new one in its place,” he continued. “So that we can carry on the tradition.”

“I think he’d like that.” Adam said softly, and Ronan looked back at him with a quiet smile. 

“Yeah. Me too.”

The tree, it turned out, was a lot heavier than either of them had anticipated. Ronan had insisted on being the one to cut it down, and Adam, happy placate his boyfriend’s obvious attempt to show off, had stood to the side and watched him hacking away at it, with folded arms and a grin. After the first minute or so it became apparent that Ronan was struggling more than he cared to admit. 

“I thought you said you’d done this before?” Adam said. Ronan hoisted the axe out of the trunk with a grunt and clamped it between his knees so he could shimmy off his jacket. 

“I _have,_ ” he said, balling up the jacket and tossing it onto the ground next to him before heaving up the axe again.

“Sure looks like it,” Adam said, with a smirk.

“You wanna do it instead?” Ronan demanded.

“Nah.” Adam leaned lazily against a neighbouring tree, tilting his chin up as he very obviously eyed Ronan’s bare arms. “I’m enjoying the view too much.” 

Ronan rolled his eyes, but Adam could see his lips quirking as he steadied himself for another hit. After a few more minutes, the tree was finally down — “Knew you’d get there in the end.” “Quiet, Parrish.” — and the two of them dragged it by the trunk back through woods and across the fields towards the house. Eventually they had managed to set it up in the living room. 

“We always put it here,” Ronan told Adam as they stood back to admire the currently bare tree now gracing the large window that faced the fields. “So that Santa could see it.”

“Well, how else was he supposed to find you?” 

They grinned at one another.

“Matthew will want to help decorate it,” Ronan began, and promptly turned to jog out of the room without explanation. Before Adam could say anything, Ronan’s voice carried from the other room, “I thought the two of us could just put the lights on it for now?”

“Sounds good to me,” Adam called back. After a few moments Ronan returned with Chainsaw on his shoulder, a cardboard box under his arm and a carrier bag in his other hand, the contents of which appeared to be emitting a golden and flickering glow. Ronan tilted the box that was currently balanced on his hip towards Adam. 

“Regular,” he said. Then he lifted up the carrier bag in his other hand. “Dreamt.”

They got to work setting up the regular lights; Ronan found a CD of old Christmas songs and put it on in the background as Adam began untangling the ball of string lights. Chainsaw perched on his shoulder, watching curiously. Once the lights were assembled around the tree, Ronan pulled a wreath and five candles from within the box. He brought them over to the mantel and Adam came to stand beside him as he placed the four smaller candlesticks in placeholders around the wreath, and then put the larger white candlestick at the centre.

“What’s that?” Adam asked, winding his arms around Ronan’s waist and resting his chin on Ronan’s shoulder. Ronan glanced at him with a smile so soft that Adam wanted to live in it.

“Advent Wreath,” he said, looking back at the wreath. His hand had subconsciously come up to brush his fingers against the hair behind Adam’s ear. He pointed to one of the smaller candles. “Those are lit on every Sunday leading up to Christmas,” then he gestured to the larger candle in the middle, “and that one is the Christ candle. We usually light it on Christmas Eve.”

He reached for the box of matches sitting beside the wreath and struck a match to light the first candle. When it was successfully lit, he shook the match out, and the two of them watched the candle burn for a few moments. Then Ronan turned and kissed Adam’s cheek.

“Okay, Parrish,” he said with a grin, “watch this.”

Ronan picked up the glowing carrier bag and dragged one of the sofa chairs towards the tree. Then he stood on the arm of the chair and carefully tipped the contents of the bag over the tree; out of it cascaded a chain of beautiful floating lights. They had nothing connecting them, yet they seemed to be suspended together as they wound themselves slowly around the tree. When the last light found its place on the tree, Ronan stepped back onto the seat of the armchair, admiring his dream at work. Adam gave him a slow clap of approval and Chainsaw flew over to circle the tree and inspect the new lights.

“You’ve always been good with lights,” Adam noted, as Ronan jumped back down again and dusted off his hands.

“How did you know they were mine?”

Adam pulled Ronan towards him by his wrists and brought Ronan’s hands to rest around his waist, before linking his own hands together behind Ronan’s neck.

“They’re just very on brand for you,” he said, as they began to slowly sway to Ella Fitzgerald singing about the secret of Christmas.

  
Ronan smiled, pulled Adam closer, and kissed him. Adam felt a warm glow spread from his chest right through his body; he was so contented. When they broke apart, Ronan pressed his forehead to Adam’s and they continued to sway gently to the music for a while. 

“I’m really glad you’re here, Parrish.”

“Me too, Lynch.” 

* * *

Adam had been spending most nights at the Barns over the following weeks leading up to Christmas, taking the BMW when he needed to go to work and helping Ronan decorate the rest of the Barns on his days off. Seasonal music, from old classics to traditional Irish melodies, accompanied each of the days, as Ronan had insisted on playing Christmas songs at almost every waking moment. A week before Christmas, Ronan and Adam had decided to invite their friends over for a get-together, as they would all be spending the actual holiday with their own families. Ronan’s brothers were also due to arrive back at the Barns for the holidays that afternoon. 

The daylight had risen bright through the curtains that morning, and although both boys were very much awake, they had remained under the covers, too caught up in one another to get up yet. Adam had just been lazily planting kisses in the crook of Ronan’s neck when they heard a muffled shout of excitement from the fields outside. Adam pulled back — Ronan fluttered his eyes open in surprise, looking hilariously undone — and turned his head in the direction of the window. He looked back down at Ronan.

“Opal?”

Ronan’s expression alone was enough to tell Adam that he was clearly very unwilling to waste any more time talking when they could just as easily be spending it kissing.

“She’s fine,” he replied impatiently, “she’s just messing in the fields again.”

Adam snorted with laughter as Ronan pulled him back down again, and they continued to kiss under the sheets. After a while Adam pulled back, bringing Ronan with him into a sitting position. He took the corners of the comforter, pulled it up and wrapped it around them, folding his arms around Ronan’s neck and placing another kiss on his lips. Ronan smiled against his mouth, his arms winding around Adam’s waist under the blanket. It wasn’t long before Adam began to find himself straying again, trailing kisses along the stubble of Ronan’s jaw; down the column of his neck; along the line of his collarbone. Ronan hummed contently and lifted Adam’s hand, as if in a dance. He brought Adam’s fingertips to his mouth, kissing the pads of his fingers softly, tracing his thumb back and forth over Adam’s knuckles. Hands were just beginning to wander again when another squeal from the fields interrupted them, followed by an indignant bark from Chainsaw. Adam broke their kiss again, nose scrunching apologetically as Ronan glared up at him.

“I’m just going to check,” he said, trying not to laugh at the look of betrayal on Ronan’s face.

He climbed off Ronan and out of bed, the cold air making the hairs on his arms stand up, and padded across the floorboards towards the window. Pulling the curtain aside by a sliver, he blinked rapidly as the bright daylight imprinted itself on his retinas. After a few moments, his eyes adjusted and he realised why it had been so blindingly bright in the first place. The Barns was caked in a heavy blanket of picture-perfect snow, making the place look as if it had jumped straight out of a Christmas card. Opal and Chainsaw weren’t at all difficult to make out amongst it; they were the only dark figures in a world of glistening white. Opal appeared to be tumbling around in the snow beneath the window, apparently unbothered by the cold, whilst Chainsaw, unwilling to touch the ground, flapped wildly around the little fawn in confusion and outrage. She barked again and Opal sat up, her shaggy legs splayed out in front of her in the snow, and barked back. Then she balled up some snow and aimed it at the bird, missing her only because Chainsaw had dived swiftly out of the way. Opal, enthralled by this new fun game she’d discovered, picked up more snow and began hurtling it up into the air towards the bird. Adam laughed, pulling the curtains open a little wider, and he heard Ronan groan from the bed.

“What’s happening?” 

“Come look,” Adam replied, hands resting on the windowsill as he watched the fluffy snowflakes continue to fall. He heard Ronan throw the sheets aside with a grunt and after a moment he felt the other boy’s arms wrap warmly around his waist, his chin coming to rest on Adam’s shoulder. Ronan breathed out a laugh and Adam felt it brush against his cheek.

“Shit, man,” Ronan muttered, as Adam rested his hands on Ronan’s arms. “I don’t remember the last time I saw this much snow.” 

Adam turned his head to the side in order to catch Ronan’s eye. “Dreaming of a white Christmas last night?” he smirked, and Ronan snorted. 

“ _Ha_. Come on,” he said, turning Adam around and pulling him downstairs. 

The rest of the morning had, unsurprisingly, been spent outside; what had started out as shovelling the snow from the driveway had ended in Opal, Adam and Ronan getting into an extremely competitive snowball fight. They had stumbled back into the house an hour later, red-nosed, soaked and numb to the bone. Ronan had given Adam one of his fleeces to warm up in and although Adam had found it slightly too large for him, he didn’t much mind it; he liked wearing Ronan’s clothes. He just cuffed over the sleeves a couple times to free up his hands and then stood warming them over the radiator. Ronan had also managed to bribe Opal into wearing an old hoodie of Matthew’s so that he could put her usual knit sweater in the wash, by promising her a branch from the Christmas tree to chew on. Opal had been banned from eating any part of the tree, so the offer had worked a treat. Once she was in the hoodie, Ronan cut off a small branch from the tree for her, as promised; she accepted it quickly and then ran back into the kitchen to hide behind Adam, where she could eat it safely out of Ronan’s reach.

“I’ll make some coffee,” Adam said, desperately needing something warm to hold in his still freezing hands. He took his hands away from the still warming radiator, and Opal hovered by his feet as he went to put a new filter in the coffee maker.

“I’ll light the fire,” Ronan said, heading off towards the living room to start up the old wood burner.   
  


* * *

At around 1pm Ronan’s phone rang as the two of them were sat watching Home Alone in the living room. The caller ID said “DICK”. Ronan just stared at it expectantly, so Adam picked up. Ronan put the film on mute, subtitles on, so that Adam could hear Gansey over the phone. It was not Gansey’s voice, however, that answered his greeting, but Blue’s. 

“Adam, hey!” She said, brightly. “We’re just on our way over now. Gansey wanted me to call and ask y’all if we needed to pick anything up from the store on the way?” 

“I’ll ask Lynch,” Adam said, and lowered the phone from his ear so could turn to Ronan, who was lounging with an arm around Adam’s shoulders beside him. “Did you hear that?”

Ronan pulled the phone towards him, eyes still on the TV, and simply said, “Flamethrower.” Then he sat back again, attention returning to the movie as if there had been no interruption. Adam rolled his eyes with a smirk, and put the phone back to his hearing ear.

“Right,” Blue said, and he heard Gansey’s muffled voice on her end. “No, he wants a flamethrower, Gansey.” Henry’s laughter cut through Gansey’s response.

“I think we have everything we need,” Adam said.

“I thought as much,” she replied wearily. “Well, anyway. We’ll see you soon.”

“See you later, Blue.” 

They hung up. Ronan turned to him, eyebrow raised expectantly.

“Are they bringing the flamethrower?” 

Adam snorted and unceremoniously dropped the cellphone into Ronan’s lap. Ronan pulled a face at him.

“I doubt it,” Adam replied.

“The fuck?” Ronan muttered, picking up the phone and chucking it onto the neighbouring armchair. “Why even bother coming at all?”  
  


* * *

  
Not long after the phone call with Blue, they heard Declan’s Volvo crunching through the snow as it pulled up to the house. Matthew had all but fallen out of the car in his excitement at being back at their childhood home for Christmas again, and whilst Declan looked unimpressed at his levels of energy, Adam could see the semblance of a smile on his face as his brother darted through the snowy fields.

Their friends, much to Ronan’s disappointment, had _not_ ended up bringing any high-power weaponry with them to the Barns. Blue had brought a big bottle of homemade mulled wine from Fox Way though, and although Adam was somewhat skeptical about any beverages made under the roof of that house — especially when said beverages were put into conveniently unlabelled bottles — he and Blue nonetheless began to heat it up over the stove.

Declan enlisted Gansey’s help with the food, for reasons that had escaped everyone, including Gansey. Adam suspected that Declan had probably just fallen victim to Gansey’s guise of outward put-togetherness, and was therefore unaware that Gansey also routinely brewed his coffee in the same room as the toilet at Monmouth Manufacturing. Henry had offered to lend a hand as well, which meant that _he_ clearly had common sense when it came to Gansey’s judgement, and the three of them were now busying themselves with the food at the other end of the kitchen.

Matthew and Ronan were messing around boisterously in the hallway, the sound of which seemed to be sending an already stressed Declan over the edge. As Ronan glanced into the kitchen, Adam caught his eye and nodded slightly towards Declan. Ronan’s older brother was currently trying to clear up the abandoned vegetable skins that Gansey had forgotten to throw away, and looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Ronan smirked, which Adam took to mean ‘ _I have a talent for making my brother stressed and I intend to use this talent for evil_ ’. Adam held Ronan’s gaze, shaking his head infinitesimally, to which Ronan replied with a roll of his eyes, holding up his hands in surrender. He swung back on the doorframe into the hallway, where Opal and Matthew were now playing.

“Okay, come on,” Ronan said, ushering them into the living room. “You wanna set up the PlayStation?”

Adam turned back to the stove, giving the contents of the saucepan a few stirs. Blue was sitting on the countertop beside him; the task really didn’t require more than one person but he liked her company anyway.

“That was kind of impressive,” she said, attempting to twirl a wooden spoon in her hand and almost dropping it. Adam raised an eyebrow at her quizzically.

“What?” 

“I just watched you guys have a conversation without using any words.”

Adam smirked and returned his eyes to the mulled wine.

“The alternative would’ve been me telling him not to piss off Declan whilst Declan was within hearing distance,” he said, continuing to stir. 

Blue snorted; “Oh, he would’ve _hated_ that.”

“His pride is fragile,” Adam nodded sagely.

“Mm, like fine china,” Blue mused and they both laughed.

The wine began emitting a spiral of steam that smelled of sweet spices; Adam took it off the heat to cool for a bit. 

“Where are the glasses?” Blue asked, jumping down from the counter and dusting off her hands.

Adam nodded towards a high cupboard that he was certain Blue would be unable to reach; nevertheless she marched across the kitchen towards it with admirable and characteristic determination. Adam, intrigued as to how this would be panning out, leaned back against the counter to face her with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. When she reached the cupboard, she hoisted herself up onto the countertop with an ease that could only mean she had done it several times before. Then she stood on her knees like a child looting the cupboards for treats, and pulled out each glass, one by one, setting them on the counter beside her. Once she had finished, she jumped backwards off the counter; upon seeing Adam watching her with a mildly impressed and humoured expression, she grinned and put her arms up above her head as if she were a gymnast finishing a routine. Adam laughed and gave her a few claps, to which she bowed and curtsied dramatically. 

* * *

  
Whilst the food was in the oven, Declan had ushered everyone out of the kitchen, on the grounds of it being ‘far too crowded in here’, before going on to clarify that they ‘didn’t need 3 people in charge of pouring drinks’. Ronan had put on another Christmas playlist, which Adam suspected Henry had hijacked, firstly because the Christmas music seemed to be a lot more 80s-centric than usual, and secondly because Ronan had never bothered to set a password on his phone. Matthew and Blue were currently play-dancing to ‘2000 Miles’ together, which made Adam’s heart feel surprisingly warm considering how truly awful both of them were at dancing. He and Gansey were watching the scene amusedly, whilst Henry continued to mess with the playlist. Ronan could be seen lifting Opal up to the newly decorated tree to add a strange looking ornament that she’d clearly made onto one of the branches. As Matthew and Blue laughed and spun each other around, Ronan’s eye caught Adam’s from across the room, and they grinned at each other fondly. Ronan put Opal down and she ducked underneath Blue and Matthew’s swinging arms towards Adam, wrapping her arms around his leg when she reached him. Adam put down his glass of mulled wine so he that could take the hand that she was offering him and put his other hand on top of her head comfortingly. 

“She seems quite fond of you, doesn’t she?” Gansey remarked beside him. Opal bared her teeth at him and he looked appropriately chastened by the gesture; Adam couldn’t help but laugh.

“She doesn’t mean it,” he assured Gansey, “she just likes to act out in front of people.” Gansey seemed to look a little more relieved at this and was about to say something else when Henry came up behind him, clapping his shoulder and nearly spilling the glass of eggnog he was holding.

“I see you have yet to win the approval of the fawn of the house, Richardman,” he said with a broad grin. He looked down at Opal; she blinked vapidly back at him. Then he held his knuckles up to her, and, instead of bumping them, she opted to purposefully poke his hand with her finger. 

“Oh, a _radical_ move,” Henry said matter-of-factly to her. “No boring fist bumps over here.”

Opal just stared at him with her black orb-like eyes, and then looked up at Adam in confusion. Henry didn’t give Adam a chance to say anything, however, because the song had finished and the unmistakable sound of Freddie Mercury’s voice began to emanate from the speaker.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Henry said, parting both Gansey and Adam in his wake as he leapt towards Blue and Matthew, who both laughed as he began to perform a surprisingly accurate Freddie Mercury tribute.

Adam saw Ronan across the room, arms crossed and eyebrow raised judgmentally. Adam and Ronan didn’t know Henry very well — he was essentially Blue and Gansey’s friend — but Gansey had asked if they could bring him along, and Ronan, much to everyone’s surprise, had agreed. The fact was, they all had some pretty traumatic common ground between them after the events of that autumn; even if they weren’t particularly close, it had still rendered them at least somewhat bonded. As Henry pulled Gansey into the centre of the room to join he, Blue and Matthew in their ridiculous dancing, Opal hopped off to go and watch the whole thing from inside the cardboard box that had previously held the decorations.

Adam crossed the room to Ronan, who looked up at him with a smile when he reached him. They came together like puzzle pieces, Adam’s hands coming up to link together over Ronan’s nearest shoulder, as Ronan wound an arm around Adam’s waist familiarly.

“How are you doing?” Adam said quietly.

“Aside from having to witness Gansey’s dancing?” Ronan asked, turning to look at Adam with a wicked smirk. “I’m doing great, Parrish.”

Adam smiled, turned Ronan’s chin gently towards him and kissed him; Ronan smiled against his mouth, kissing him back. They continued that way for a few moments, tucked beside the Christmas tree, their friends too distracted by their dancing to notice. When they broke apart Adam caught a glimpse of the spidering greenery hooked over the old candle holder on the wall above them.

“Oh my god,” he said. Ronan raised a questioning eyebrow at him; Adam nodded towards the mistletoe with a delighted grin. “Were you standing under that on purpose?”

Ronan glanced up at it and then turned back to Adam, scoffing.

“Fuck, no.”

Adam could could tell he was attempting to act like he hadn’t noticed it; the rising colour in his ears was giving him away. “You _were_.” Adam continued, grinning as Ronan flicked his nose defensively. “Incredible. The romance of it all. When did you sneak that onto the wall?”

“Shut up,” Ronan laughed, “you still came over here and kissed me.” 

“As if I needed mistletoe for that, Lynch.”

* * *

Once the food was ready, Declan had allowed them to bring their plates into the living room, and so all of them were now scattered on various sofas and cushions around the room as they ate. Matthew was by the TV choosing a film to watch and they were all debating between which Christmas classic they were going to go with. Well, all except Ronan, who had thrown Die Hard into the mix, much to everyone’s confusion. 

“ _What?_ ” Ronan said indignantly, as Henry and Blue booed him generously from the other sofa. 

“That’s not a Christmas movie!” Blue said, huffily.

“It’s set _at Christmas_ , Sargent.”

“I don’t care, it doesn’t count. We need a classic _,_ ” Blue countered, “not a Ronan-centric action movie.”

“What about Muppets Christmas Carol?” offered Matthew, holding up the DVD for them to see.

“ _No,_ ” said both Ronan and Declan, with equal levels of conviction. 

“I do enjoy that movie,” mused Gansey, and Matthew beamed at him as Blue swatted Gansey’s arm with the back of her hand.

“Don’t encourage him,” Ronan warned.

“I still think Love Actually is the one,” Henry said, folding his arms.

“No fucking way are we watching _Love Actually.”_

“I love that movie but I’m not really in the mood to see Emma Thompson cry today,” said Blue, and Henry nodded sagely.

“Good point,” he agreed. “On second thoughts, I doubt any of you will be in the mood to watch _me_ cry at that scene either.”

“Agreed.”

“How about It’s A Wonderful Life?”

“Declan, that’s literally the _most_ boring movie you could’ve possibly chosen.”

“It’s a classic, Ronan.”

“He’s right.”

“Parrish, the fuck?” Ronan turned to him, betrayed, and Adam shrugged. 

“I’ve seen it on TV before, it’s a good movie.”

“It’s _boring_ is what it is.”

Declan sighed from his armchair; “We’re not going to get anywhere at this rate.”

“What about the Polar Express?” offered Gansey, suddenly. “It’s a kids film, but it’s got some dark elements to it. And I would say it’s a classic.” 

Adam had never seen it before but, unbelievably, everyone seemed satisfied with this option, so Matthew set about putting the DVD into the player. 

“What’s this movie about?” Adam asked, stealing a piece of food from Ronan’s plate with his fork.

“A magical train comes to kids houses on Christmas Eve and takes them to the North Pole,” Blue explained. “There’s also a ghost, which makes it a top tier Christmas movie.”

“Sounds creepy,” said Adam, settling into Ronan’s side a little more, and putting his feet up on top of Ronan’s on the footrest.   
  


* * *

The film had, in fact, been very good. Matthew had happily blocked his ears and closed his eyes during the bits that Ronan whispered to Adam always scared him. By the end of the movie everyone was yawning and stretching, and it was beginning to get dark outside. They had all agreed not to do gifts that year, but Blue had still handmade Christmas cards for each of them, which she passed out before they made their leave. She had even made ones for Matthew and Declan, which Adam thought was very sweet of her. Declan went to put Adam’s, Ronan’s, his and Matthew’s cards on the windowsill as the others said their goodbyes.

“Have a good Christmas,” Blue said, giving Adam a swaying hug and then holding an obligatory fist up for Ronan to bump. Ronan just rolled his eyes and opened his arms like a kid allowing his mother to fuss over him. Blue grinned and jumped up to hug him tightly, and although he was still pretending to hate it, Adam could tell he was glad of it. 

“Merry Christmas, maggot,” Ronan said, as she pulled back, and she scrunched her nose as she grinned at him.

“You _softie_ ,” she said, and Ronan swiftly pulled her hat down over her eyes. “Hey!” She pulled it back up and stuck her tongue out at him.

“We’ll see you before the New Year,” Gansey said, smiling. “Merry Christmas.”

They all waved goodbye as Henry, Gansey and Blue made their way through the snow towards the suburban. As Gansey went to find his keys, Blue and Henry ducked in the snow and came up each holding snowballs that they both threw at him from behind. Gansey nearly dropped the keys and as they were all laughing, he pointed between them like a teacher giving them their final warning.

“Idiots,” Ronan muttered, closing the door as the others bundled themselves into the car outside.  
  


* * *

On Christmas Eve, Ronan asked Adam if he wanted to come with them to Midnight Mass.

“You don’t have to,” he said, fidgeting with Adam’s hand as they sat on the floor of Ronan’s bedroom.

Ronan had been showing Adam how to play on the old GameCube, which he’d brought up to his room and plugged into a very square, retro-looking TV that had made the familiar and nostalgic crackling sound of static when they turned it on. Ronan had told him that he and Matthew used to always play Zelda in his room whenever it was too cold or dark to go outside. He’d just been demonstrating on the controller to Adam when he’d suddenly paused the game to ask him.

“Am I allowed to?” Adam asked, after a few moments. Ronan nodded, lifting Adam’s hand to his mouth for a second before lowering it and answering.

“Sure. People who aren’t religious are welcomed.”

Adam hadn’t grown up with anything like this himself; he didn’t have faith in the same way Ronan and his brothers did. He supposed he believed in some kind of higher power — he couldn’t look back on the events of the last year without that notion at least passing through his mind — but it had never meant anything to him, mostly because he didn’t feel like it really changed anything. But he knew how much Ronan’s faith meant to him, and that was enough for it to mean something to Adam. If it was important to Ronan, it was important to him.

“Okay,” Adam smiled, “yeah, I’d love to come.”

Ronan grinned, “Matthew will be excited you’re coming as well. He loves going because it means he’s allowed to stay up past midnight.”

* * *

That evening, when Adam had changed into his old suit, he tapped his knuckles on the open door of Ronan’s bedroom. Ronan turned, his clawing tattoo just visible above his collar, and raised a sharp eyebrow. He eyed Adam gratuitously as he finished tying his tie.

“You look good, Parrish.”

Adam had only seen Ronan in a suit on one other occasion, and he wasn’t at all displeased about getting to see him in one again.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.”

They grinned at one another.

“Here,” Ronan stepped up to him, taking the ends of the tie still draped over Adam’s shoulders and beginning to tie it for him. Adam smirked, putting his hands in his pockets as Ronan tied.

“So you’re actually very capable of tying a tie,” he mused. “Did you just not tie it at school as a fashion statement?”

Ronan breathed out a laugh, his eyelashes low as he continued to fold and loop the fabric into a knot.

“Damn place killed too many brain cells for me to remember how.”

“You just wanted to look cool.”

“I _am_ cool.”

“Debatable.”

Ronan smirked and shook his head, pulling the tie up and folding Adam’s collar down over it. He smoothed down Adam’s shirt over his shoulders, and looked up at him with raised eyebrows. 

“Look sharp, Parrish.”

Adam snorted as Ronan turned him around and pushed him through the door, towards the stairs. 

Declan and Matthew were standing by the front door waiting for them when they got downstairs; Matthew was so bundled in winter wear that they could barely make out his face amongst all the layers. Declan checked his watch and then put his hands into his wool-woven coat pockets, looking at Ronan in a long-suffering way.

“We’re going to be late if we don’t get going now.”

Ronan rolled his eyes as he swung the front door open, “Yeah, yeah. The birth of Christ waits for no one.” 

Matthew gave a muffled laugh from underneath his scarf, and Declan pinched the bridge of his nose wearily as he followed. 

* * *

  
St Agnes was another world to when Adam had last been inside the church; for one, it was filled with people. Families and elderly couples and faces that felt familiar to Adam for some reason. The walls and aisle were lined with flickering candles and a beautiful Christmas tree stood in the corner. Adam couldn’t stop looking around. Ronan lead him through the crowd of people still finding their seats, and followed Declan and Matthew into the pew. 

There had been programmes left on the seats with lyrics for the hymns. Adam had recognised some of the melodies, though he couldn’t pin down when or how he had first heard them or come to know them. He could hear Ronan’s voice clear and low through the rest of the voices during the songs. After the first few hymns, the priest had come to the front to speak. To Adam’s surprise, he also said a few words to newcomers, assuring them that they were welcomed to celebrate. He called the congregation his brothers and sisters; he told them that they were all loved, that they were just as worthy of receiving it as they were of giving it. Adam had felt Ronan silently press his leg to his when they began to read out a prayer in which they asked for forgiveness for their sins over the past year. 

Adam had found the service far more moving than he had expected; not because he was religious — he had never grown up with these rituals and traditions, and the service felt quite alien to him — but because he felt incredibly close to Ronan through it. This was Ronan’s world, and he had opened it up to Adam. The vulnerability of it was enough to make Adam’s chest swell. Near the end of the service, Ronan and his brothers, along with the majority of the congregation, had gone up to the front of the church to receive communion. Adam had remained in the pew, watching with the polite curiosity of an outsider. Once the service was over, the priest had jovially wished them all a merry Christmas; then the whole congregation stood up and started wishing one another merry Christmas. Adam was approached by strangers he had never met before, shaking his hand with genuine smiles, and wishing him a happy Christmas. He could see Ronan holding back a laugh as Adam, confused by the whole thing, stumbled to return the greetings. 

Once the service was over, Ronan lead him through the crowd and out into the cold night. As soon as they were through the doors, Ronan turned to Adam and pulled him into a tight hug. 

Adam laughed, “hey,” and wrapped his arms around Ronan in surprise. Ronan pressed his face into the crook of Adam’s neck.

“Thank you for coming,” he said after a few seconds, his voice muffled in Adam’s coat.

Adam pulled back, cupping Ronan’s face as Ronan wove his fingers through Adam’s hair.

“Thank you for bringing me.” 

They pressed their foreheads together. After a moment Ronan pulled back, the corners of lips pulling into a warm and genuine smile.

“Merry Christmas, by the way.”

Adam felt his chest glow warm and strong as he smiled back.

“Merry Christmas, Lynch”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed and I hope you all have a lovely holiday !! 
> 
> ((I ended up watching like a 2hr video recording of a Christmas midnight mass service for this just to make sure I didn’t get anything totally wrong because I’ve only been to it twice in my life, so hopefully I didn’t mess it up too much !!😬 if I got something wrong though please let me know and I can fix it 💕))
> 
> anyway, love to you all and thank you so much for reading !! 💗🎄


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